Si Lindsay Lohan hubiera actuado como Hermione en Harry Potter

Esta es una parodia a Harry Potter realizada por el equipo de producción de Saturday Night Live. En el papel de Hermione no se encuentra la conocida Emma Watson, sino la actriz Lindsay Lohan.

Scene: Gryffindor Common Room

[Ron enters]
Ron: Harry! Harry! Harry Potter! Welcome back! Did you have a good summer?

Harry: No! Voldemort's returned and he's trying to kill me! Again!

Ron: I heard. We need Hermione, is she here yet?

[Hermione enters]
Hermione: I got here hours ago! I've been in the library researching cloaking spells.

Ron, gawking at Hermione's enlargened breasts, laughs nervously.

Ron: Hermione, oh, ah, mmmmmm...

Harry: Hello, Hermione! Uhh, welcome back! How...was...your summer?

Hermione: Boring. Nothing happened.

Harry: Really? It seems like a lot happened.

Hermione: I don't know what you're talking about.

Ron: I can think of a couple things that happened, but it's just that, um, you see, it's only been a few months since we last saw you, yet, uh, wow.

[Harry pushes Ron]
Harry: Ron just means that, uh, you look very nice, Hermione.

Hermione: Thank you, Harry. But we have to perform this cloaking spell to protect you from Voldemort. Protectium Invisibum! C'mon, what are you waiting for?



[Harry and Ron stutter and then participate in the incantation]
All Three: Protectium Invisibus!

Hermione: Are you concentrating on the spell?
[Harry and Ron say yes while shaking their heads and continuing to stare at Hermione's breasts]

Hermione: It doesn't seem to be working!

[Fred and George enter]
George: Hey! Nimrod 2000s! Did you hear the news?

Fred: Yeah, Malfoy bought out all the Firebolts for all the Slytherins!

[Fred and George then notice Hermione, and gawk at her breasts]
Fred: Hermi-, Hermi-, hello, Hermione.

Hermione: Hello Fred, George.

Fred and George: Hello, Hermi-i-i-i-i-one.

Fred: How are you doing?

George (to Hermione): Let's hang out for a minute. Incendio!
[Fire starts in fireplace]

Fred: Eh, Couchio!
[Couch appears behind them]

George: Stereo!
[Music begins to play in background]

Harry: Gah! We're very busy right now! If you haven't heard, Voldemort has returned and is trying to recruit the Dementors to take over Hogwarts!

Fred: Hey, Potter, cool it with the nerd stuff.

George (to Harry): Shut up.

George (to Hermione): Hey, listen, we got a place off campus and a mini-fridge filled with Butterbeer.

Hermoine: I'm sorry boys, we can't waste time. We'll celebrate after we get through with Voldemort.
[Hermione gets up from the couch]



George: What a tease.
[Fred and George sigh, and then get up from the couch]

George: Well, if you'll excuse us, we're off to go beat a couple of Bludgers.

Harry: Oh, going to play some Quidditch?

Fred and George: No...
[Fred and George exit]

Hermione: Alright, the cloaking spell didn't work. Let's try a reverse enchantment. Abrentien Madisen! Abrentien Madisen! Abrentien Madisen!
[Harry and Ron focus on Hermione's breasts]

Hermione: The magic isn't happening!

Ron: I'm going to disagree with you.

Hermione: But it's not working!

Ron: Oh, it's working so much! Please don't stop!

[Professor Snape enters]
Professor Snape: What are you children doing out of bed?

Hermione: Professor Snape!

[Snape notices Hermione's breasts, and looks away]
Professor Snape: Heyo...Ok, uh, let's break it up here, let's move it along. Hermione, is that you?

Hermione: Yes, Professor Snape.

Professor Snape: Please, call me Severus. No, no, please, call me Professor! Professor Snape! Ok, that's fifty points from Gryffindor! Now go to bed!
[Snape exits]

Hermione: Alright, we have to hurry. This is our last chance!
[The trio sits down, Hermione opens a book and pulls out a magnifying glass]

Hermione: Madame Helena's Book of Incantations. The print is so small!

[Hermione holds the magnifying glass in a position that magnifies her breasts]
Hermione: Ah, that's better.

Ron: I'll say!

Hermione (reading from the book): It says here, "Sun to moon, moon to sun. The twilight at will, come undone." What does that mean?

Harry: I don't know, but it's making me nervous and sweaty.

[Hagrid enters]
Hermione: Hagrid!

Hagrid: Hellow, kids.

Hagrid (to Hermione): Hi. Hello, who are you?

Hermione: Hagrid, it's Hermione!

Hagrid: Yikes! What happened? Take it out on my vein, take it out! (Holds fingers up to head and makes high-pitched noises) Okay, alright, I better go out to the woods and tame my dragon.

Harry: Ah, you got a new pet?

Hagrid: Nope!
[Hagrid exits]

Hermione: I give up, this is ridiculous. We didn't get anything done, and Voldemort's on the loose! I'm going upstairs to have a bath.
[Hermione exits]

Ron: Harry, that Invisibility Cloak, do you still have access to that?
[Harry and Ron jump around excitedly while making high-pitched noises]

________________________________________
Sexto Upload Manyana Colombia Uruguay

No comments